tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74989887374780664602024-03-18T17:43:10.107-10:00Hollie's HobbiesA girl and her hobbies and how she uses them to remain sane in the sometimes eddying, sometimes stagnant, pool of life.Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.comBlogger77125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-41922454291042133622016-05-16T08:26:00.001-10:002016-05-16T10:42:21.497-10:00You Do Not Have to be Good<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Day 5 of 30-day writing challenge: a quote I try to live by.</i><br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
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“You do not have to be good.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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This is the first line from Mary Oliver’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wild Geese</i> poem. The whole poem is so
freaking fabulous in the unpretentious way it conveys so much meaning in the
simplest way possible.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">You do not have
to be good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border: none; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 444.0pt;" width="444"><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">You do not have
to walk on your knees<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border: none; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 444.0pt;" width="444"><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">for a hundred
miles through the desert repenting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border: none; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 444.0pt;" width="444"><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">You only have
to let the soft animal of your body<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">love what it
loves.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border: none; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 444.0pt;" width="444"><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Tell me about
despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border: none; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 444.0pt;" width="444"><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Meanwhile the
world goes on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Meanwhile the
sun and the clear pebbles of the rain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border: none; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 444.0pt;" width="444"><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">are moving
across the landscapes,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border: none; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 444.0pt;" width="444"><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">over the
prairies and the deep trees,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border: none; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 444.0pt;" width="444"><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">the mountains
and the rivers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border: none; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 444.0pt;" width="444"><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Meanwhile the
wild geese, high in the clean blue air,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border: none; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 444.0pt;" width="444"><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">are heading
home again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">Whoever you
are, no matter how lonely,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border: none; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 444.0pt;" width="444"><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">the world
offers itself to your imagination,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">calls to you
like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border: none; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 444.0pt;" width="444"><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">over and over
announcing your place<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border: none; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 444.0pt;" width="444"><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">in the family
of things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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I have a copy of this poem above my sink so I can read it
while I fill the coffee pot with water in the morning and I have it written on
a lampshade in my living room, so I can glimpse words of it when I pass by.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I like poetry because I can carry it with me. I can memorize
a few lines and pull them out when I need them. If I’m bummed because I burned
supper, I tell myself: You do not have to be good. I yell at my kids for no
reason: You do not have to be good. I find myself being stingy and selfish: You
do not have to be good. Lazy and useless: You do not have to be good. Those
words do so much for me. They take the pressure off perfection and guilt. Guilt
is such a useless emotion and perfection is such a boring goal. You do not have
to be good. You don’t even want to, do you? Why are you trying so hard to be
good? <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, what do you have to do? Oliver answers that for us in
the fourth and fifth lines: “You only have to let the soft animal of your
body/love what it loves.” Wow! No matter how hard I try I can’t ever, ever be
good. Not for more than a couple of minutes, anyway. Then I’m right back to my
usual bad self. I can let the soft animal of my body love what it loves, though.
The soft animal of my body can love what it loves all day long.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There’s so much more meat in the poem, I love the pace that
the poem reveals itself, unfurling like a line of wild geese flying across the
sky. I love the way the words feel in my mouth. I can taste this poem.<br />
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Let’s all stop trying so freaking hard to be good, and let’s love what we love instead. Funny
as it is, but so much good can come from that love. <o:p></o:p></div>
Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-34008926587341722712016-05-10T06:03:00.000-10:002016-05-10T06:03:15.375-10:00To Music<br />
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Today’s writing prompt is to put my iPod on shuffle and
record my thoughts on the first five songs that play. I love music, so I’m super
excited about this one. Here goes: <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">War Song</i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">, O.A.R.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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So thrilled to hear this. I haven’t listened to O.A.R. in a
while, and now I’m wondering why that is. I saw them sing this live last July 4<sup>th</sup>
at Pearl Harbor and it was pretty heavy hearing this song there, surrounded by so many
who have been to battle and still carry the scars from it. Marc Roberge said
they were inspired to write this after doing some shows for the troops in
Afghanistan. I started learning it on ukulele the day after the concert. I honestly
practiced it non-stop for hours until I had it down cold. I haven’t picked up
the ukulele in a while, and now I’m wondering why that is. Note to self: listen
to more O.A.R., play more ukulele.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Favorite line: No one else is there, there’s no one left to
fight, just me among my things<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Crash into Me</i>, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Dave Matthews Band</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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Holy crap, it’s the nineties again! I’m in college, sitting
in my dorm room, listening to Dave Matthews on my boom box. I actually just
bought this on iTunes last year because I couldn’t find the CD that I know I
own. I can totally see the case that’s broken and missing the top plastic piece,
but the paper insert is still on top of the CD. Who has it??? I really just
bought it again on iTunes because I was jonesing to hear #41, I’m not too
terribly crazy about this track. I think the radio played it out too much back
in the day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Favorite line: I’m bare-boned and crazy for you<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Call Me Maybe</i>, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Carly Rae Jepsen</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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SKIP! This is Daughter’s song. OMG, I’ll be singing it all
day! Thanks a lot shuffle! I need to introduce that kid to some good music…<o:p></o:p></div>
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Favorite line (just because it’s hilarious!): Your stare was
holdin’, ripped jeans, skin was showin’, hot night, wind was blowin’ [SHOOT ME NOW!]<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Joy Ride</i>, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Killers</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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Geez, I can’t believe it took four songs to get to the
Killers. I thought all five would be Killers. This is just okay for me.
Actually, I kind of want to skip it too. It’s the Killers so I'm obligated to love it, but if it
were by someone else it would just be…meh. I do run to this, though. It’s got a
nice tempo going for it, I will say that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Favorite line: When your hopes and dreams lose the will to
glow, joy ride [yeah...not their best work...]<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Give Me Time</i>, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Dawes</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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I haven’t listened to Dawes in a while either. I need to hit
shuffle more often. I started listening to Dawes because I heard they were like
a cross between Jackson Browne and Neil Young and any comparison to Jackson
Browne will have me heading over to iTunes in a flash! They’re not quite up to
Jackson standards, but not too shabby. Good music for when I want to chill out
hardcore.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Favorite line: If there’s one thing you could give to help
me show you all that’s mine, give me time<o:p></o:p></div>
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Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-27183808052845647462016-05-09T06:23:00.000-10:002016-05-09T06:23:05.538-10:00Tattoos<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Day 3 of 30-day writing challenge: What tattoos you have and if they have meaning.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, today I’m supposed to be discussing my tattoos. Hmmm. Interesting
thing about me and tattoos, I never spell it right. I always leave off that extra “t”
(the third one or the second one, I don’t know which). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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I only have one tattoo which is kind of unusual for
someone of my generation. Most of us are inked over half our bodies. Though I
do have plans for two more in the near future, so maybe I’ll be accepted into
Gen X once more when I get those done.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, my one little tattoo is of a dolphin on my upper leg.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I guess it has some meaning. Most people don’t go into a
tattoo shop with their eyes shut and point at a design and have it permanently
inked onto their skin, do they? Maybe they do, idk, but not this gal.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyhow, I like dolphins. I’ve always kind of had a thing for
them. I grew up pretty land-locked and didn’t get out to the ocean too much, so
there weren’t a whole lot of dolphin sightings in my life until I was in my
twenties and my folks moved to an island off the coast of Georgia. Most of the
dolphins I saw until then were in the occasional side-show where they did flips
and tricks for treats. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OMG, I am totally going off on a super-boring dolphin tangent, so…yeah…I like ‘em and stuff. Also, I had this
super-intellectual-type-boyfriend in college who was older than me by a few
years and who once told me oh-so-wisely: “Young one, if thine elects to have
ink injected into thine skin, think on the design for six months or beyond, at
which point if one still yearns for said design, one shalt get said design
injected into thine skin.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You know, this is probably the wisest advice I’ve ever heard
about tattoos before or since. So, thank you
super-intellectual-college-boyfriend. Namaste.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After my six-month period had expired, I was like: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Yeah, I still super-like dolphins</i> and I
headed to the tattoo shop with my crazy aunt (no, not that crazy aunt, the
other one) and my new boyfriend who I later married and…I got a dolphin tattoo.
Hmmm, that story is lacking in some tension….<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Kay then. So my other two tattoos that I have planned have awesome meanings.
On one side of my back I’m going to have “be still” tattooed in script because it’s
the title of a Killer’s song and I feel like I owe them something for all their
amazing music and a few inches of my skin seems like an adequate payment. On
the other side of my back, directly across from “be still” I’m going to have a cresting
wave tattooed. The whole thing will act as a sort of yin/yang. Be still/wave
crest. Stillness/Movement. Boo-yow!</div>
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And that's all I really have to say about tattoos.</div>
Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-29732154469814705612016-05-08T06:26:00.002-10:002016-05-08T06:26:49.140-10:00Happy Mother's Day to an Imperfect Mom
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;">Mom, this Mother’s Day I
want to say thank you not for your unconditional love (who really has that
anyway?) or your sacrifices (mothers aren’t the only ones who sacrifice, you
know), but for your imperfections. For all the times you made the wrong parenting
choices.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;">Remember that one night we
had banana splits for supper? Not exactly the stuff of child-rearing books, is
it? In fact, in a highly unscientific poll I conducted, 10 out of 10 doctors
and dentists agree: don’t do this. But I’ll never forget that night—piling
crushed pineapple, vanilla ice cream, and chocolate syrup on top of my bananas
and finishing the whole thing off with an impressive mound of canned whipped
cream. From time to time health must be sacrificed for memories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;">Thank you for all those
times you didn’t make me and my brother wear our seatbelts and left us home
alone when we were just wee little elementary-aged children. Holy crap, you
totally would have been arrested if you were a parent today! Yet, somehow we
survived. Hmmm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;">In fact, thank you for all
the times you weren’t there for me. All the times you didn’t entertain me and I
had to be creative and entertain myself. All the times I just had to figure
things out on my own. “Where are the parents?” all the moms of today would scream
at you. You would be shunned at playdates and the park.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;">You did, admittedly, do some
things right: gave me a love of Jackson Browne, and books, and the ocean. You
gave me ability to see humor in a dark situation. You gave me a deep-seated
hatred of the mall and cash registers that I will always cherish. But that’s
not what I’m thanking you for today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;">Today I’m thanking you for
all the times you yelled when you should have hugged and all the times you
hugged when you should have yelled. All the second-hand smoke and R-rated
movies. That one time you snuck me into a bar when I was only twenty. Thank
you. We don’t have to be perfect at this parenting thing. Sometimes we just
have to get through the day. And you got me through thousands of days and
thousands of menacing nights when monsters lurked under my bed and beasts
haunted from the closet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;">And just the other day, I
went to call you. I searched for your name on my phone, pushed <i>Mom</i> and was confused when the call
wouldn’t go through. I tried again and again until I finally realized I was <i>Mom</i> in the contact list I share with my
son’s phone. I was trying to call myself. The circle has closed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times;">Banana splits for supper
tonight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-30506050842739564922016-05-07T07:53:00.002-10:002016-05-07T07:58:20.307-10:00First Love(s)<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>Day 2 of my 30-day writing challenge: First Love.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8k3Uz5VzWp1pizftsnrivoIpwufyLyWEZduZhLLE0kPOjdernijQ40aOEgO9fEdkk89jtdtWCpviYwciRgCXfzGFK4HNdC7yk_vScOuNq9v_CCktwz630BNCae4MRfSK_Kc_QVmlsSGU/s1600/164022446.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8k3Uz5VzWp1pizftsnrivoIpwufyLyWEZduZhLLE0kPOjdernijQ40aOEgO9fEdkk89jtdtWCpviYwciRgCXfzGFK4HNdC7yk_vScOuNq9v_CCktwz630BNCae4MRfSK_Kc_QVmlsSGU/s320/164022446.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; text-indent: 0in;">Mark Mitchell was the cutest boy I had ever seen—floppy sandy brown
hair and squinty eyes. In my memory he looks like a young Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
I sat next to him for several weeks at the start of fourth grade and promptly
forgot how to breathe. I had to retrain myself—in through the nose, out through
the mouth, steady and even, not too deep, not too shallow. Sometimes I would
feel myself start to hyperventilate when he sat next to me and would have to
hold my breath in for a moment to regulate it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Mark Mitchell wasn’t very smart, not because he wasn’t smart, but
just because he couldn’t be bothered with being smart. He had more important
things to do, like carve his name into the desk with his pencil and sneak candy
in past the teacher. He was too busy being interesting to be smart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I was smart. I was not interesting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">He was the first boy I combined my name with. I would fill
pages—Hollie Mitchell, Hollie Christine Mitchell, Hollie Christine McLellan-Mitchell—all
enshrined in hearts with arrows. Then I would carefully tear the pages from the
notebook, ball up the paper, and throw them away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">One of these discarded pages found its way to my brother who found
his way to Mark Mitchell, which wasn’t hard in our small neighborhood. A short
bike ride, a friend of a friend, everyone was connected.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">He came to my house one brilliant, warm Saturday while I was
sitting in my second-story bedroom window, watching the world go by. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">He came on his bike with his friends and my brother and my
brother’s friends and looked up at me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">He rode onto the green grass, balanced his Huffy with one hand,
and looked up at my bare feet hanging down. I wasn’t yet totally convinced I
had fat legs at that point in my life, but the thought was beginning to form
like an itch in my mind—there was something about my legs I wasn’t supposed to
like. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">He looked up at me and my legs that definitely had something wrong
with them, his eyes squinting even more than they usually did because of the
sun. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">He looked up at me with one hand on his hip and said, “I don’t
like you. Okay.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">He got on his bike and pedaled away as an icy cold shot through my
heart and down into my stomach. My brother and the other boys made no attempt
to hide their laughter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I had no choice then, I went straight from liking him to falling
head over heels in love with him. The pain of loving him was so achingly pleasant, the melancholy so comfortable, like a gift I never knew I wanted. I swam in that grief.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I loved him for so long, maybe even weeks,
until I realized that Logan Garrett, the tallest boy in the fourth grade with silky
black hair and deep brooding eyes that seemed to know some secret I would never know, was actually the cutest boy I’d ever seen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-50499501632849294152016-05-06T13:11:00.000-10:002016-05-06T13:11:05.697-10:00Memories<i>I've been having a hard time getting my fingers typing lately, so I decided to do a 30 day writing challenge. Of course, it's May 6th and I'm just getting my first one finished, so it's safe to say this 30 day writing challenge is going to be done Hollie-Sessoms-Style, i.e. it'll be awesome if I get half a dozen completed.</i><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>My Earliest Memory</b></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0GsCIQZ9OkM0VM8_ZlmYaBTkG2P8pTqDrBKGC3YxG4C0hX3euLC5Ki9REln3q0zLi75KrwXEdkfEhyphenhyphensVDd-sV9St3xjBVvVpImMDcly0Sw9r3DwYjLfvwWIzPGRowXL0AjEz7N3KwFEM/s1600/6499604c-bc68-42c0-8c37-1e1fd1fd5f06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0GsCIQZ9OkM0VM8_ZlmYaBTkG2P8pTqDrBKGC3YxG4C0hX3euLC5Ki9REln3q0zLi75KrwXEdkfEhyphenhyphensVDd-sV9St3xjBVvVpImMDcly0Sw9r3DwYjLfvwWIzPGRowXL0AjEz7N3KwFEM/s320/6499604c-bc68-42c0-8c37-1e1fd1fd5f06.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Memories are funny little things. They warp and change with
time, become fuzzy and then sharpen in an instant. First memories are even
trickier. Memories before I had language feel more like dreams, like movies of
someone else’s life. I don’t trust these early memories. I didn’t own the words
for the things that surrounded me, so they come off feeling false.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember a house and a big wicker chair. I really liked
that chair. I think I wanted to sit in it but wasn’t allowed. I remember a dog
as large as me, his tongue licking my face, but we never owned a dog. Maybe the
dog was really made of wicker. Maybe I licked his face. I remember a big piece
of cement in the courtyard, painted yellow with something protruding from the
middle. A fire hydrant, perhaps? I would climb on it, feeling tall. It was my
playground. I was cold. I lived in Alaska at the time, but didn’t know that
then. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember Wonder Woman Underoos and a comic book. My
brother and I drizzling syrup on it for absolutely no reason. Laughing, feeling
naughty and exhilarated, not afraid of punishment. Not afraid of anything, yet.
Did it really happen?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember a box of laundry detergent falling down the
basement stairs, spilling the white soap crystals everywhere. Or did someone
tell me that story? Did I create that image out of thin air? Was it something that
happened to someone else entirely?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My early memories feel as true as the fiction I create. I
don’t trust either one of them, but I’m no less grateful for them. Stories heal and fracture, entertain and help us to understand. We craft our own stories about our lives. Unless you’re
a Kardashian and have your every moment recorded, you have to create a sort of
fiction for your life, believe whatever you want to about your past.</div>
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The past is as pliable as the future, you just have to know
what to remember and what is best forgotten.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-67808837061004958402016-04-06T14:10:00.000-10:002016-04-06T14:10:32.046-10:00
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mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
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<!--StartFragment-->
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<span style="font-family: Times;">I always fall in
love with my hair, like really love it just the way it is, the day before I have
a haircut scheduled. I wonder if this speaks volumes about me. I love the thing
that is about to change. I love it more the second before it leaves my fingers.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times;">The last note of
my favorite song, the last fall leaf hanging on a tree, the twinkling space of
time right before someone I love boards a plane and flies away from me. I love
these moments harder than any that came before.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: Times;">But maybe it was
just the wind today. The way it seized my hair up and away, around my head and
back again so that when I walked in the front door and glimpsed myself in the
mirror, my hair lay perfectly haphazard, wild as a barbarian, one blonde piece
falling in my face, the rest in a mess about my shoulders. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: Times;">Maybe, I just love
a mess. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-20009330058912239612016-01-23T18:22:00.000-10:002016-01-23T18:22:25.300-10:00The Dive<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Cassie shuffled along the side of the pool, staring at the chipped pink nail polish on her big toes. She let three rowdy pre-teen boys in front of her and then took her place at the back of the line for the high dive. Happy to be in back. Happy the line was long. She concentrated on her breath—in and out, filling her nose with the chlorine-scented air. She started to chew on a nail, but thought better of it and clasped her hands in front of her instead.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Her feet burned on the hot concrete. She wiggled her toes, trying to cool them and then moved to the left to soak them in water that had pooled there, watching as a man flipped once off the dive and went neatly into the water. Easy as pie. Two girls took her place in line, and that, too, was okay. She was in no hurry for her turn.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The sun dipped behind a cloud and she got at the end of the line again, pulling her one-piece bathing suit down in the back, ensuring that it covered her entire butt. Her butt seemed to be growing in rapid strides lately, determined, along with her chest, to be noticed. She’d tried to hide the breasts that were pushing against the nylon by developing a hunched posture—shoulders curved into the sides—in case anyone detected what was happening to her body; but there was no way to hide her butt, it stretched the bathing suit to its limits, sticking out like a second head. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">She focused on the two girls in front of her, so she would have something else to think about other than butts or budding breasts, or the long climb up the ladder, and then the walk to the end of the board. The girls seemed to be her age and both had on shimmery two-piece bathing suits, standing straight as though pleased with themselves. The tall girl had one hand on a slender hip, her tiny chest poking out. The short, curvy one was running fingers through her damp hair with a practiced look of boredom. “Did we take your spot in line?” the tall one asked. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Cassie shook her head. “It’s fine.”</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“No. Go ahead of us,” the tall girl said, waving her hand at Cassie. “We’ve already been a million times.”</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Since she had no other choice, Cassie moved forward. They closed in behind her in their skimpy bathing suits, cutting off her exit, and talked in detail about their nails.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Cassie’s mother would have liked them. She had high expectations for Cassie to be just like them—care about shoes and clothes, show up at the pool in a bikini. Her mother had been dumbfounded at JC Penny at the beginning of the summer, when Cassie wanted the black one-piece bathing suit with the oversized flower across the middle, but Cassie couldn’t bear the thought of too much skin on display. She might as well walk around the pool in her underwear. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The line moved forward. One of the boys in front of her karate kicked his friend then stepped on Cassie’s foot. She pulled it back, scraping her sole on the concrete. He didn’t apologize, but Cassie wasn’t surprised. What boy would ever apologize for something that was his fault?</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">There were only three people ahead of her, and the familiar bulge of panic started in her stomach. She knew it would travel up and become lodged in her throat where it would burn and burn, even if she decided to jump. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">She’d tried to do the high dive before, but always when she came early while her mom swam laps. There never was anyone else in line. Not even the lifeguards paid attention at that time of the day—too busy cleaning leaves out of the pool and checking chemical levels. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Cassie had climbed up the rungs all the way to the top three times, her heart pounding like thunder. The first time, she climbed right back down straightaway. The second time, she took one step on the gritty diving board, felt the rough surface beneath her feet, and then abandoned the idea. The third time, she made it all the way out to the end of the metal guardrails and stared down at the surface of the water, as smooth and calm as ice. Her mother, a speck, made even strokes through the pool, her long, athletic body not even aware of Cassie, sensing nothing. The longer Cassie stood there, the more anxious she became until she finally made her way back down the ladder again, her legs shaking, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. She hated her cowardice almost as much as she hated her burgeoning body for its betrayal.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">She was next. She knew the rules for the high dive: stay at the bottom until the person on it has jumped off, don’t jump off until they have exited the pool. She’d watched the kids line up and jump off it for years now, had seen when the lifeguards blew their whistles. She would at least avoid that. The boy in front of her jumped ages before she was ready, landed in the pool with a tremendous splash. His rowdy friends clapped and hooted for him, then their eyes turned to her. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">She hesitated at the bottom for a moment. “It’s your turn,” the tall girl behind her said. Cassie nodded and started up the ladder, the pavement giving way beneath her. <i>Don’t look down</i>, people always said, but how could you not when you were headed up? Doesn’t everyone want to see where they’ve been? See that place where they were so comfortable before? </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The bulge of panic moved up her throat, burning, her fingers started to shake. She held tighter to the rail to stop the shaking and kept climbing even though she didn’t want to, her palms aching from being pressed so tightly against the cold metal. Up and up she went, until she couldn’t go any higher.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Then she, like everyone before her, had to walk out on the rough blue board. She chanced a look below. The tall girl stood ready on the bottom rung, just waiting for Cassie to be done, not a note of fear on her face. “Are you going to jump, already?” the tall girl said. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Cassie braced herself against the metal rail and made her shaky legs walk forward—one foot and then the other. Soon the rail ended and she was in a place she had never been before. Her fingers lingered on the rail until it was out of reach. The rowdy boys screamed, “Jump!” and it made the bulge in her throat burn hotter. She chanced a look towards the chaise lounges. Her mom was nowhere to be found, but a few women shielded the sun with their paperback books and watched her like she was the best new show in town: Would she jump or wouldn’t she? Riveting.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">She took baby steps forward, missing the safety of the railing, reciting the 23rd Psalm in her head. It used to bring her comfort, but too much use had made it worn and thin, just words. Nearly useless. In the future, she would have to find something else to comfort her. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">She made it to the end of the board and looked down. The boys shouted for her to jump again, one bending at the waist and yelling so loud she wondered if his voice would even work the next day. The water seemed so big, so vast, deeper than she realized. She’d always thought everything was supposed to be smaller when you were high up, but not this pool of water, this was massive. Maybe everything—the world, her trivial life—was bigger than she’d known. Cassie wished for a moment that her mom was there to see her, but then understood it was better this way. It was something she was supposed to do alone, without her mom's support. Someone clucked like a chicken, the women watched, the boys shouted, but she was above them all. And if she jumped it wouldn’t be because they told her to.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-indent: 36px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It would be because she was going to do it all along. </span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-43725657622432666632015-11-22T12:41:00.002-10:002015-11-22T12:41:17.015-10:00La Vie en RoseI have been trying, this past week, to be thoughtful, not reactionary.<br />
<br />
I have been trying to sort what I know to be true from what I've heard to be true.<br />
<br />
I have been trying to move closer to love.<br />
<br />
I have remembered that the opposite of love is not hate, not indifference, but fear. I don't want to fear. I don't want to hate. Most of all, I don't want to feel indifferent. I want to love.<br />
<br />
Whenever I fear, I dissect that mother like a beast. What am I afraid of? Why am I afraid of that? It usually turns out to be something so silly and so trite that it makes me feel like a little girl clutching my blankie, convinced there are monsters under the bed. That's what most of our fears turn out to be anyway--monsters under the bed.<br />
<br />
Both of my cars were broken into recently. In my driveway on a rainy night. I live in a safe neighborhood, but there have been a rash of petty burglaries lately, and by lately I mean for as long as I've lived here. I try to keep the cars locked, but possessions aren't terribly important to me and I usually forget.<br />
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After initially feeling violated, I steered clear of hate and fear and found so much compassion for the thieves who had emptied out the glove boxes in my filthy cars, sorted through tampons and lip gloss and old receipts looking for cash that wasn't there. They did steal a bluetooth speaker and Husband's backpack, but only after taking everything out of it first, and most strangely, Daughter's newly purchased pink puffy paint. The puffy paint did it for me. How can I feel anything but compassion for a thief who finds himself in need of pink puffy paint?<br />
<br />
In my mind's eye, I see him waking up the next morning and presenting the puffy paint to his daughter. "Do you want to do crafts today?" How can I hate that man? How can I fear him? I have no choice. Love is all that's left.Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-57099304590506973142015-09-30T14:05:00.001-10:002015-09-30T14:05:40.829-10:00The SnailThis morning, behind my house, I found a smushed snail, the opalescent shell fragmented into the messy guts of the body. Surely the work of one of the neighborhood kids. I've had the desire to smush them myself from time to time, just to hear the crack of the shell, like the crunch of a fall leaf. Just because sometimes I have the urge to destroy beautiful things.<br />
<br />
Nature's critters were busy and by this afternoon nothing remained but pieces of the shell, still catching the light just right in a way that was maybe more beautiful than before. Maybe more tragic. If the death of a snail can even be deemed tragic.<br />
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I walked past the pieces and down the muddy hill in my backyard. Trying to find my balance in a slippery place, trying to make it all the way to the bottom of the hill without holding on and without falling. Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-2445503472069798922015-09-29T17:42:00.000-10:002015-09-29T17:42:41.318-10:00And Then TodayAnd then today, at the store, I spied a small family. The dad turned his head and kissed the mom. Distracted, she tried to kiss him back and got nothing but air. He bent over the child, nestled his nose in her hair then jogged the other way, off on some man errand.<br />
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And I felt blessed to finally notice things again.Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-8174490887852333562015-05-18T21:24:00.000-10:002015-05-18T21:24:16.409-10:00Piano Keys and Circumstance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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" width="200" /></div>
<br />
<br />
Only forty pages into my work in progress and I already lost a chunk of it due to a computer glitch. Gone. Into the ether. Back where it came from, I suppose. But this stuff happens. It has happened on every novel I ever wrote.<br />
<br />
It happens, but that doesn't make it any easier.<br />
<br />
I was writing, last night, with the weight of a difficult day on my shoulders. A tragedy occurred on a tangent in my life and I had the taste of music in my mouth. I was swallowed up by a bubble of piano keys and circumstance. I will never recreate that day, that taste in my mouth, that I put into words to the best of my limited ability.<br />
<br />
And it's gone.<br />
<br />
I tried to rewrite the scene, but came away with cardboard figures, shuffling their feet and scratching their heads while telling a maudlin story that no one cared about.<br />
<br />
It happens.<br />
<br />
As a writer, I am tasked with shaking my weary head and waving my weary fist up to heaven and then...getting back to work again, thankful for the experience of writing something that made a difficult day a little easier.Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-44901580315161318312015-05-12T21:24:00.000-10:002015-06-19T00:56:55.665-10:00Ninjas and Violent Femmes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://founderdating.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/rejection.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://founderdating.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/rejection.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
There are many stages to writing a novel. Like...a bunch...take my word for it. Right now, I'm in my least favorite stage--the rejection stage.<br />
<br />
Ideas--I have a million. Starting an idea--got it. Finishing an idea--all over it. Asking for feedback and cowering in the corner while I get criticized--been there, done that, been back, cried a little. Editing--cried a lot, did it, did it again, did it again, and again and again. Sending my work out and getting rejected--well...I usually start out strong and then sputter and die a rather unremarkable, unnoticed death and then...start the whole idea process over again.<br />
<br />
But I've vowed that will not happen with this novel. This is the one I believe in. The one I wanted to write five novels ago but didn't know how to approach. This is the one I refuse to give up on.<br />
<br />
It's been tough.<br />
<br />
I was at a point, not too terribly long ago, where I hated opening Gmail. I couldn't stand to see that grainy wood background that I chose because it looked oh-so-sophisticate. I couldn't stand to see the highlighted new messages that started: <i>Dear Author, Thank you for sending me your work, but...</i> I was mad at Gmail. It almost felt like all the rejection was Gmail's fault. Screw you Gmail! I could feel myself sputtering, choking, ready to die.<br />
<br />
So...I had no choice. I had to jump-start my battery. When you're a writer, you have to jump-start your own battery. Have to hook the wires to your own positive and negative terminals. Have to ground one of the wires yourself. There's no donor. There's no one else on the planet with enough energy to jump-start your battery for you. Only you possess the required amount of energy.<br />
<br />
I started by changing my Gmail background. Instead of the sophisticate wood grain, I opted for cartoon ninjas. Next, I dug out my favorite break-up song by the Violent Femmes, <i>Kiss Off</i> and played it on repeat. And I really started to feel better: a rejection ninja who forgot what eight was for.<br />
<br />
I sent off a whole new crop of queries ready to be rejected, or even worse, greeted with non-replies, which feels a little bit like telling someone you love them only to sit by awkwardly while they bathe you in their silence.<br />
<br />
Hopefully this will get me through June. I don't exactly know what will happen in June, maybe a reassessment, maybe a rewrite, maybe a whole new thing entirely, something I haven't even thought of yet. I don't know why June. Just feels like a good time to take another look. And if I sputter and die on the way, I only pray I can find the jumper cables again.Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-27409024879521649312015-04-08T14:22:00.000-10:002015-04-08T14:22:23.195-10:00The Difficulty of Shallow Roots<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmbtHSfNFRcye5dvRuWttYSqocBPo4XGVKFlpnpDHMYrMr8XqJzUl7tY2E0mQZc3Tn4W2fcOzKb8OObQ-ZbcdAlHS5B24IM9w8tmnV6rIfrK2UGYadWOQWO_dDzeLIWoGUNgUWg9x1H-s/s640/blogger-image--29173778.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmbtHSfNFRcye5dvRuWttYSqocBPo4XGVKFlpnpDHMYrMr8XqJzUl7tY2E0mQZc3Tn4W2fcOzKb8OObQ-ZbcdAlHS5B24IM9w8tmnV6rIfrK2UGYadWOQWO_dDzeLIWoGUNgUWg9x1H-s/s320/blogger-image--29173778.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"</i>Lost<i>"</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
And then today, while hiking, I learned that plants with shallow roots are bad for erosion and can cause mud slides. The earth needs deep roots to hold it in place.<br />
<br />
It reminded me of my own shallow roots, my willingness to up and move at a moment's notice. The excitement of moving, the thought: I can be whomever I want to now. I can dress all in black, line my eyes in kohl, get something pierced, and go to open mic nights at coffee shops. I can buy ten different types of moisture wicking bras, drink protein shakes, and sign up for a marathon. I can wear my hair in pigtail braids, slouch around in plaid, and go on hikes where I learn about root systems of invasive plants. I can be all these people, but I always wind up just being me with my shallow roots and terrible diet and wardrobe chock full of solid print tees.<br />
<br />
Maybe this is because I am not there yet, I am still becoming. I feel like I'll be becoming for the rest of my life. And I'm okay with that.<br />
<br />
I learned about balance. It isn't something that you have, it's something that you learn. Like all things, you learn it by doing--patience and practice. I learned about speed. How it's not important to me, but I feel like it should be, because it seems so important to everyone else. I learned that tiny steps will get you where you need to be just as surely as big ones. <br />
<br />
Husband hiked behind me and said, "Maybe it'll help if you get in a better rhythm." I think he's probably right.<br />
<br />Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-56754630199678891762015-04-03T12:10:00.001-10:002015-04-03T12:22:19.831-10:00Fail Again<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s a philosophy that I used to gravitate towards: If I
don’t try, I can’t fail. Failure is such a dirty word in our culture. As
embarrassing as adult acne, second-hand clothes, and purple El Caminos. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We need a new outlook on failure.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Spring feels like a good time to try something new. It feels
like the right time to fail at something. Better than New Years in my humble
opinion (Yeah, like I’ve ever had one of those!). Spring is a re-birth, a
re-imagining, a re-mover if it has to be. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dust off the cobwebs from winter. Wash everything clean.
Look at your life in a new light. You don’t have to be the same person you
were. The person who was too scared to try new things. You don’t have to be
that. You, too, could be a failure.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For spring, go try something new and fail at it. Fail
miserably, but keep at it. Fail so bad that people (those people who never try
new things) talk about you behind your back. And then, fail some more. Fail
until you don’t care that you’re failing. And eventually, you’ll get it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or maybe you won’t.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And is that really such a terrible thing? To not be able to
do something? To try and not succeed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
I’m a writer, therefore, a professional failure. I’m an
expert at failure and, trust me, the more you do it, the less scary it is. Now,
I’ve even branched out. Instead of just failing at writing, I’ve failed at a
whole host of other things (running, ukulele, surfing, stand-up paddleboarding,
parenting, the list goes on and on). There’s no limit to the things that you
can fail at if you really put your mind to it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Failure has become comfortable to me, like that feeling of
pulling up to my house on a dark night and seeing the lights are on, signs of
life. I can sit in my car and imagine inside: my children’s laughter, the smell
of supper cooking on the stove, the chaos of the day strewn about. Failure is
as much a part of the fabric of my life as all of that. I say it every day: <i>I can’t do it…yet</i>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s my passion, it's my goal. Fail at as many things as I possibly can. The sky's the limit.<br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgE0lChq2BpDb0YH6Lu2Hy3OkI8Mi_k2fd0V8pstDUsJfZbwV_b13qHyQqO9VgiI1TPCUutAMQfp_fiMhACUPo39Zcru8xiXjR3pX8B3nMBjqkGFvG0DGOtKkeAZIsmJrlvmlIB6A8JJ0/s640/blogger-image--1739307280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgE0lChq2BpDb0YH6Lu2Hy3OkI8Mi_k2fd0V8pstDUsJfZbwV_b13qHyQqO9VgiI1TPCUutAMQfp_fiMhACUPo39Zcru8xiXjR3pX8B3nMBjqkGFvG0DGOtKkeAZIsmJrlvmlIB6A8JJ0/s320/blogger-image--1739307280.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-28853374586618294632015-01-30T08:19:00.000-10:002015-01-30T08:19:18.669-10:00Pretty (?) in PinkHusband and I watched Pretty in Pink last night, because movies made in this decade have disappointed us too much and we're not ready to forgive them yet. Some of our reactions:<br />
<br />
What is she wearing?<br />
<br />
What's up with that hair?<br />
<br />
It's not Matthew Broderick, it's Jon Cryer.<br />
<br />
Who is that? I know that guy. What's he in?<br />
<br />
What is he wearing?<br />
<br />
What ever happened to her?<br />
<br />
Oh my God, they're doing all this weird 80's stuff, only they're not being ironic about it.<br />
<br />
Andrew Dice Clay is in this?!<br />
<br />
I love this song!<br />
<br />
It's not Matthew Broderick. It's Jon Cryer.<br />
<br />
Stop poking each other in the face when you kiss!<br />
<br />
I used to have the biggest crush on him.<br />
<br />
It's Jon Cryer!<br />
<br />
Look, the guy from Three and a Half Men and the guy from Blacklist are fighting. That's funny.<br />
<br />
Yeah. It's totally not Matthew Broderick.<br />
<br />
I still hate that guy's face.<br />
<br />
How do you possibly take two ugly dresses, put them together and wind up with something even uglier?<br />
<br />
Man, they wrapped up those plot points pretty nicely. Proof that all you need to get along in this world is a "can-do" attitude, Molly Ringwald's face, and some good tunes.Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-32055451447699048682014-12-11T09:08:00.001-10:002014-12-11T09:08:19.435-10:00One More StepSleep was fitful last night.<br />
<br />
Husband is gone. Sleep is always fitful when he is away. I turned on my heating pad in the middle of the night, trying to fool my unknowing body into believing it was human heat. It worked for a while until the safety switch turned it off and I awoke and remembered once more that I was alone. Stupid safety. And I heard about how zoos will give orphaned baby animals stuffed animals as mother figures. Sometimes we just need something.<br />
<br />
I read, once, somewhere, a line in bold print: PEOPLE ARE NOT MEDICINE. And I thought that it was actually backwards: MEDICINE IS NOT PEOPLE, it should have read. People are better than medicine. Husband is my Prozac, my Xanax, my Ambien. I live in fear of something happening to him. I'll be on a whole host of anti-psychotic drugs that I have spent years preaching against. What's wrong with using people you love to calm your crazy fears. Isn't that what people are for?<br />
<br />
Wear your seat belt and drive safe, I want to tell Husband before he leaves the house in the morning. Don't leave me on this planet, alone with all my anxieties.<br />
<br />
I fed children and got them to school with my brain still foggy from lack of sleep and even though I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed, I ran the crater. I have had to narrow my focus down to one singular goal so that I don't try to live in too many directions at once. Get up the Hill. That is my goal. Or, more accurately, run up the Hill.<br />
<br />
I made it a little further today than I did yesterday, just a step. I'm satisfied with that, because I have to be. That's all it takes though, just one more step.Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-46822181597030698212014-09-18T21:41:00.000-10:002014-09-19T05:56:30.831-10:00Rules for Hiking (and…you know…life too)<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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1. Pack out what you pack in. And vice versa.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2. Drink lots of water. Water is nearly always the answer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3. If you start to fall, turn it into a slide. It hurts less
and looks cooler.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4. Remember: Up is hard, down is frightening, level terrain
that never changes is easy and a nice break…but dull.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5. Never hike alone. Except…do. <i>Do</i> hike alone. Definitely hike alone. Yes, it is risky, but life is
risky. It’s risky to get out of bed in the morning, drive a car, boil water for
tea, love someone. Life is full of risks. This is one you should take.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
6. Tell someone your hike plan. Except, sometimes don’t.
Sometimes do things just for you, not because you need to tell the world about
it. Go for a hike and then <b><i>don’t</i></b> update your Facebook status,
tweet, write a review on Yelp, and for god's sake, please do not blog about it and some nonsense of how hiking is like life….This can also be risky (see #5).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
7. Bring snacks. Snacks are the best.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br>
8. Read Mary Oliver. Maybe not while you're hiking--seems dangerous. Maybe sit on a fallen tree trunk or large rock first and then...read Mary Oliver.<br>
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
9. Don’t worry about the serious hikers. When you see them
coming, just say to yourself—<i>Serious hiker
alert! </i>and then move to the side to let them pass. Yes, they’ll get there faster than you, but
you will have heard more birds sing, smelled more raindrops on leaves, felt more
wind on your face, fallen more, and have more blisters.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
10. Have a map, but only let it be your guide. Have a plan, but sometimes veer from it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
11. Don’t worry about the way you look—sweaty, red-faced, muddy—nothing
like those women in the Eddie Bauer catalog. You look truly god-awful, who gives a
crap.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
12. When you get to the top of the mountain, panting, gasping
for breath, clinging to tree limbs to pull you up and you see a little old lady up there chatting away happily in rapid-fire Japanese and you think to yourself—<i>How the hell did she get up here?</i>
Remind yourself: You are a wimp.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<br>Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-63637409967140191692014-09-16T21:59:00.000-10:002014-09-16T22:14:56.221-10:00Doing Time<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbRUmCloGDD1nZCQxA9Dk_7ae4XMgWXb7cIzO8_eJTqqIj3VVs9NEavSsHJ7gCdTS136GkhLys74K_I7wCMUcZ2KEZZEj8l3SKOjs8wu_6yD80Zx8mq30ZWCfuVl0oX7ntRiHC2e9eMco/s640/IMG_20140916_220641.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbRUmCloGDD1nZCQxA9Dk_7ae4XMgWXb7cIzO8_eJTqqIj3VVs9NEavSsHJ7gCdTS136GkhLys74K_I7wCMUcZ2KEZZEj8l3SKOjs8wu_6yD80Zx8mq30ZWCfuVl0oX7ntRiHC2e9eMco/s640/IMG_20140916_220641.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
I took a month off from my novel. Saved it on a thumbdrive
<outside.revision4> and vowed not to open it again until I had distance.
Fresh eyes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I became unbearably lonely without it, didn’t quite know
what to do, who I was, without <outside.revision4> open on my laptop. I
was uncomfortable, itchy, lost for a few days. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then I made a list of books to read. I inhaled the books I
loved, labored over ones I didn’t, forced myself to finish them. Made another list. Another and another.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went on hikes through green woods, scrambled up the sides of mountains, searching for toeholds to propel me up. When you really need to move forward, any ole toehold will do. It doesn’t have to be fancy. I saw the true beauty of a 360 degree view—nothing in the way. I got lost and followed two highly-educated, super-fit, upper-middle class ladies until I realized their path wasn’t the one I wanted to take. Besides, they were moving too fast for me. I slipped and fell on the loose, treacherous path I ended up choosing and then soaked my scraped body in the sea. <br />
<br />
I wrote all my words on notecards in pencil. Notecards
began to pile on counter tops, dresser tops, any horizontal surface in the
house and then in my car. They acted as bookmarks with my long-forgotten
handwriting on them. They hid in my sheets, stabbed me in the leg in the middle
of the night, waking me. The words didn’t necessarily have meaning for
me. Most of it was useless, a reflection of a thing, not the thing itself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sat on my porch and watched construction workers on the
street below—covered against the hot sun, moving dirt from one spot to
another, and then a jogger sped by, gone before I even fully realized he was there. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sat in silence.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I listened to the same song on repeat for hours, never
tiring of it, but hearing something new every time—one art teaching another. I
wrote a story no one will ever read based on the song. I wrote it not because
it needed to be read, but because it needed to be written.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I ate no meat without even realizing it until supper one
night when I picked all the chicken out of my portion of the chicken casserole
I’d made. I asked myself: <i>When have you last had meat, self?</i> Self could not
remember. <i>So, what, are you a vegetarian now, self?</i> "I don’t think so," self
answered back.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I walked down seashores, initially insecure in my solitude,
and then finding comfort in it. I wrote on notecards about it. I discovered I
forgot how to spell and I really like the word <i>choke</i>. It kept coming up—<i>choke</i>. I conjugated it in my head, just because it felt good bumping around in my mind: I choke, you choke, he/she chokes, we choke, they choke. Choke.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wasn’t <i>taking</i>
time away from my novel. I was <i>doing</i>
time away from it. Precious time to ask myself one question: Do you write, or
are you a writer?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The ocean doesn’t want you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She rejects you time and again when you attempt to enter her
depths. But then . . . an act of faith, a submersion, a push, and you are past
her angst—you are in her. There you are nothing—a head bobbing on water, no duty,
no service. Not waiting for anything to happen, but living in the happening,
being the happening. Cool blue, nothing in the distance but that place where
the sea meets the sky—the horizon. When you’re feeling dizzy, prevailing wisdom
says, look at the horizon to regain your equilibrium. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You know something about who you are in that moment. Who you
really are when you don’t have to be anything to anyone. A truth. And even if
you don’t understand the truth, it’s still there—waiting to be grasped,
accepted. Behind you are the screams of those in the shallow as waves pound
their bodies, but you are safe, you are deep enough.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
You can’t stay forever in her depths, promises forbid it. Life
doesn’t all happen in the depths: some happens in the shallows, some on
shifting sand, some on solid ground. When you’re ready, she shoots you out
again—a messy, ungainly rebirth—crawling back to the life you made for
yourself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK79U_yhnv1zDneOWxK4UaV5zMaMR2zamozXeaLEIAM_5mXMX887kcgFU8Xp-IzMatTG_HDTYrtFFlVBxMpo29UwC9eWTFMMOfyuSuLTwo3lLgW2K_mnbD0shXZw4uq13Dx5TA1JR5J58/s640/blogger-image--1029946963.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK79U_yhnv1zDneOWxK4UaV5zMaMR2zamozXeaLEIAM_5mXMX887kcgFU8Xp-IzMatTG_HDTYrtFFlVBxMpo29UwC9eWTFMMOfyuSuLTwo3lLgW2K_mnbD0shXZw4uq13Dx5TA1JR5J58/s640/blogger-image--1029946963.jpg" /></a></div>
Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-12497183036459957632014-08-11T09:09:00.000-10:002014-08-11T09:10:00.115-10:00Up<div class="MsoNormal">
My house is high on the rim of a volcanic crater. This is a
good thing when you live in a tropical environment and you don’t check the weather
for temperature and chance of rain (sunny, 80’s, 10% chance), but for
tradewinds and the occasional tropical storm threat. This is also a good thing
when you need to get in shape.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
I took my lazy body for a run around my neighborhood, which
dips to the valley and rises around the crater again in a three mile loop. I
started strong on my one mile downhill with an exhilarating, almost childlike love
of running, having a fleeting desire to hold my arms out and holler, “Wheeee!”
and continued running on the flat valley where I started to feel the many weeks
of inactivity in my muscles. I decided I would walk back up the crater and when
the climb started, I smiled and marveled at the nature around me and felt
blessed to live in such a place. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But the mountain would not end. It would not stop going up.
My legs started to give out, my head was fuzzy from heat, I needed water. I
worked to keep my torso upright, but kept wanting to slouch, even crawl, the rest
of the way home. So, I did what I always do when I’m uncomfortable…I looked for
a way out of it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was no way out.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The only way through was up. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was no giving up. I couldn’t turn back, there was
another mountain that way too. It was literally uphill both ways. But then it hit
me. It was just like life. I have to climb the mountain to do anything, I have
no choice. The only way through is up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had to conquer the mountain, and suddenly I had to conquer
my unfounded fears too—three inch flying cockroaches and customer service reps
and parallel parking. And yes, I've been trying to get a book published for six
years, but that’s okay, because the only way through is up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then it happened, I made it to the top of the mountain.
Sprinklers went off beside me and cooled my skin as I strolled along the
grass-lined sidewalk. I turned a corner and saw it—another hill looming in the
distance. Just when I think I've made it to the top, there’s another challenge
to overcome. I will never really arrive. And the only way through is up. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My fingers started to swell on this last hill, my shirt was
soaked with sweat, and when I finally saw my house, <i>Spaceman</i> came on my iPod, like some kind of iPod ESP. “Spaceman
says everybody look down, it’s all in your mind.”<o:p></o:p></div>
Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-3868565511735982002014-07-20T07:52:00.000-10:002014-10-12T22:53:17.883-10:00Changes<div class="MsoNormal">
And today I realized that less and less I am counting the
hours ahead by six—what time is it back home? Are they eating supper? In bed
yet? Awake for tomorrow already? What are they doing in their world?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And more and more the floors are feeling familiar, gritty
with sand that reappears as soon as I sweep it away. And my ears stopped popping
from the steady climb up the side of the volcanic crater where my house sits.
Or maybe they didn't stop popping. Maybe I just stopped noticing it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here the clouds reach down and touch the mountains, aqua
blue waves kiss the shore, gentle breezes tug my hair up and slowly away,
flowers fall from trees like snow. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I remember sweeping fields that line I-95, barns
collapsing in the middle, smells of summer thick in my nostrils, the rumble of a distant storm, a flash in the
sky. <o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br clear="all" style="mso-special-character: line-break; page-break-before: always;" />
</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-20814322122958755702014-06-09T02:31:00.000-10:002014-06-09T02:39:44.091-10:00This Thing I Do<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh44nbTvE7cW9cqcmJLIWtYhQhfZnb1pkclvs_NbL8q47fjkCmT19uASDCVsdzcY5ZOjm7Ecj88AqTskafeX42rUgApBninl6bITbt68FxU3lI2P0B6y1f7wSVETBs85MClON5xIkO6jaI/s640/blogger-image-1601568757.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh44nbTvE7cW9cqcmJLIWtYhQhfZnb1pkclvs_NbL8q47fjkCmT19uASDCVsdzcY5ZOjm7Ecj88AqTskafeX42rUgApBninl6bITbt68FxU3lI2P0B6y1f7wSVETBs85MClON5xIkO6jaI/s320/blogger-image-1601568757.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was asked by <a href="http://distilledfromstars.blogspot.com/2014/06/blog-tour-monday.html" target="_blank">Jeannine</a> at Distilled from the Stars if I
would be willing to answer some questions about my creative process as part of
a virtual blog tour. Uh . . . do I want to write a bit about my favorite thing
ever? Why yes, I do! So here are my answers to the four questions posed: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><br /></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i>What am I working on?</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m about ninety percent done with the first draft of a
novel. It’s about Dex Flowers, a forty-two-year-old man who is out on parole
after serving fifteen years for murdering his wife. He’s trying to live clean
and straight, making amends for his past, and is determined to stay away from
the things that plagued his life before prison—cocaine, whiskey, and women. But
he’s haunted by memories of his dead wife and is being stalked and threatened by
her father who has a history of drug abuse and violence. And . . . other stuff
happens—I struggle to put into words what my books are about while I’m still
writing them. It’s a little too left-brained for me right now. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is something that I wanted to write about since I first
had the notion that I needed to write a novel to avoid insanity, but because
it’s (oh-so-loosely) based on something that happened “for real” in my life, I
couldn’t figure out the right way to approach it without it seeming trite or
maudlin. Once I figured out whose story I wanted to tell, the book opened up to
me and wrote itself on my brain. I became impassioned by the realization that
this story would never get told, there was no way anyone would ever tell it . .
. unless it was me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><br /></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i>How does my work differ from others in its genre?<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would say that the main difference in this work is in who
is telling this story. My heart did not want to let my main character tell this
story, it rebelled against the idea, but my gut insisted on it and ultimately
won. The heart is a fickle beast anyway. The main character in this novel
should be an unsympathetic character. We should hate him immediately on page
one. But instead, the reader is rooting for him and forgiving him and seeing
bits of themselves in him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><br /></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i>Why do I write/create what I do?<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once upon a time, I was a weird kid who lived in my head. I
was really comfortable there and things made sense. Now, I’m a weird adult who
still enjoys quiet time alone with my thoughts. Writing is a way to get my
head out there into the world. I hate having to think of things to say to
actual people face-to-face, that’s really stressful for me. But with writing, I
can think about it, change it, sleep on it, change it again, until it’s perfect
(or good enough). That’s a special kind of freedom. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wanted this novel to be about people. Not big, showy
people, but everyday people grinding out their lives day after day. The things
that interest me are not necessarily the things that interest a lot of folks. I’m
fascinated by the ordinary, the base, the other side of the tracks. I drive
slowly through the wrong parts of town, trying to soak it in. It seems to have
such a different <i>depth</i> than my
sterile, easy life. What do I even know about suffering, heartache? I want to
write about those people. I almost want to pay tribute to them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><br /></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i>How does my creative process work?<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, wow, it’s not organized in the least. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ideas come from everywhere. Someone will tell me about
something that happened to them and I’ll use it, or someone will behave very
badly and I’ll use it (I love this! I wish people behaved badly more often
around me!), or I’ll have a dream and I’ll use it. I have hundreds of scraps of
paper floating around town with lame ideas on them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A lot of my plotting comes to me while I’m running or
cycling, when my brain gets to that place where it is in total misery and shuts
down, then I’ll figure out how to make a scene work and take the shortcut home
across muddy fields in my shiny running shoes to write it because my fingers
will be on fire. Exercise is a kind of meditation without the candles and trippy
music.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And speaking of music, it is the backbone of my creative
process. I get so much inspiration from music. It helps me with the feel of the
novel more than anything, setting the tone. I couldn’t write without music.
I’ll spend the morning listening to the same five songs over and over and over,
and then crank out twenty pages. [Shout out to The Killers!]<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I write everywhere: in my car while waiting for my kids to
get done with sports, at my kitchen counter while waiting for coffee to finish
brewing, on my couch, on the floor, in my bed, but never at a desk. I had to
kill a character a few weeks ago and got up in the middle of the night after a
thunderstorm and wrote it in the darkness of my living room . . . then passed
out cold on the couch. It was disturbing and magical—the best of what writing
should be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It works how it works. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes I read poetry.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That helps.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Check out next week’s participant!</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: rgb(247, 247, 247); color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;">Emily P. DeLoach is
an Indie author and blogger living in Hampton Roads, Virginia. Besides her
first loves, reading and writing, she also enjoys making crafts with her
children, traveling, going to the beach, and consuming massive quantities of
coffee and oranges. Her first novel, <i>Escaping
the Mirror</i>, was published in January 2014 and is available on Amazon. She
can be found at </span><a href="http://www.emilypdeloach.com/" target="_blank"><span style="background: #F7F7F7; color: #3b5998; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">www.emilypdeloach.com</span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7498988737478066460.post-53481330171138550552014-05-27T03:29:00.000-10:002014-05-27T03:29:47.532-10:00Empty<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD2ELVp5iElsTRJFtBD2hkGl-oH0WlmwDFRK4vreN_qN-wq4LTgF_NOELw8TRfRGM3Hs67jlBjA09OdoETxK_ku2763MhP5exFz7wkk8hz7s8vfYLcsPMBzY30FDDSLhbPbXI6MAw6jPw/s640/blogger-image-1292072965.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD2ELVp5iElsTRJFtBD2hkGl-oH0WlmwDFRK4vreN_qN-wq4LTgF_NOELw8TRfRGM3Hs67jlBjA09OdoETxK_ku2763MhP5exFz7wkk8hz7s8vfYLcsPMBzY30FDDSLhbPbXI6MAw6jPw/s640/blogger-image-1292072965.jpg" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I chase the final fly through the empty house, whacking at
windows, slapping at carpets, and feel no sadness. And maybe that wasn’t the
final fly. Maybe his cousin, or uncle, or wife’s second husband is lurking
behind another blind. I will swat him too, and moan about what happens when you
build a subdivision on a farm. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Flies. Flies are what happen.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The swatter echoes in the empty space. The walls are too
white. The baseboards dustier than I realized. And still no sadness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m immune to leaving. I’ve been leaving since the day I was
born. I think, sometimes, that I was born to leave, I’m so good at it. Leaving
is like breathing for me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I told my son with a shrug the other day, “There’s a
last time for everything. Don’t ever forget that.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When you learn to leave like I have, when you’re raised up
on leaving, you realize that you only leave the things and it isn’t the things
that matter, but the memories. You can’t leave the memories. You take those
with you. You hold the memories.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The house is stark without us, no longer a home, the last
fly buzzes inches from me. And . . . no . . . no sadness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
Hollie Sessomshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718819134818690216noreply@blogger.com1