Where is Waldo? For Real. Where He Go?

My five-year-old told husband the other day that he should dress like Waldo for Halloween. I looked at husband with squinty eyes and said, "Yeah, you do look a little like Waldo." He raised his eyebrows at me and I added, "Only way hotter, of course."

So, husband asked me, "Can you make a Waldo costume?"

I responded, "Uh, can pigs fly? I mean . . . wait . . . they can't so, what I meant to say was, yeah, of course I can!"

Now, don't get the wrong idea and think that my life is so void of things to do that I ran out to Wal-Mart that very day for Waldo-Costume-Making-Supplies. No, of course I didn't. I waited at least a day. So, if you want to make your very own Waldo costume for Halloween, all that you need is:

1. 1 ball of red yarn
   
2. 1 ball of white yarn
   
3. Long sleeved white t-shirt
   
4. Bright red Duck tape
   
5. Husband willing to dress like Waldo
   

So . . . all you do is make a hat with the yarn starting with the red and work it in the stockingnet stitch for a while and then switch to the white. You know, knit the purls and purl the knits, 'cause it kind of looks a bit more manly than a regular stitch and stuff. And then make a pom-pom with the red yarn by wrapping it around two circles a bunch of times and then a bunch more and then wrapping more yarn around it and you know, you have a pom-pom. I totally should write a book on knitting hats. Right?

Then, take the shirt and do a row of red duck tape and a row of nothing until it looks like a Waldo shirt.

Then, wait . . . where did the husband willing to dress like Waldo go? Oh, wait . . . wait, wait, wait . . . now the Coast Guard wants to send him to Florida during Halloween?!?! What? Who cares about Homeland Security, I spent all this time with Duck tape and yarn and stuff to make this great costume. How can the Coast Guard be so callous???

So, I have this awesome homemade Waldo costume ready for Halloween. Any takers?

And don't even think about suggesting that I go as Waldo if you value your life. Though I may seem quite self-deprecating, trust me, it's all an act. I'm as vain as the next girl and . . . really . . . red and white horizontal stripes???? I don't think so.

There, I've said it.